Growlers promote VP, Fire Santa instead
VP throws Santa under the bus to save his job.
By Dick Radatz Jr.
If you were able to read the story about my VP's worst idea ever,
you'd know his job was on the line for his crazy idea. It was a tough decision, but after much thought, I have decided to promote him and fire Santa instead. Yes, fire Santa Claus.
It's about time someone told the truth.
Now, before you cancel your season tickets or write this is off as a hokie stunt, let me explain.
I don't know about you, but I'm over this Santa guy. I mean really, this guy might be the biggest phony of all time. Let's think this through…
He decides who is naughty or nice without a judge or jury. He makes poor little elves and reindeer do most of the work. And to top it off, he breaks into your house in the middle of the night and eats your cookies and drinks your milk.
And who gets all the credit each holiday? Santa. That's right, Santa.
Well, I don't know about you, but enough is enough. So I've decided to approve a special offer that lets Mom and Dad take back Christmas this offseason. And just in time for the holiday season.
If you're like me, holiday gift buying always stresses me out. Is it the right size? How do I do something different that they will like? Well, here's a gift idea for you, and that is our 5-Game pack.
You could buy these for $57 in our team shop. I want to give them to you for free.
With the 5-game pack you get:
All-You-Can-Eat. You get all of the hot dogs, burgers, brats, chips, potato salad, cole slaw, soda and water you want for 5 innings. We even provide your own buffet tent to skip the lines.
Free Gifts. Receive a team jersey, hat, bobblehead & two other gifts all for free. ($75 value)
Our 5 Best Games. Fireworks nights, celebrities, America's Got Talent entertainment acts. Last year these weekend nights sold out. The only way to guarantee your seat at these games is with your 5-Game pack. (Dates chosen in December)
Ticket Exchange Program. You can exchange any unused tickets for tickets to another regular season home game of your choice.
Limited Availability. Our stadium only allows us to offer 750 of these packages per game and is not available for the single game buyer.
No-Hassle Renewal Program. Our ticket packages are automatically renewed which will guarantee your perks. If you wish to cancel at any time, just let us know. August 1st in the renewal date.
Highly Affordable. All of this will only cost you $13 per game. If you walked up the day of the game you'd pay $10 per ticket and not get any food or gifts. Options- $75 Box, $65 Bleacher
Payment Plan. We even have an easy payment plan that allows you to pay as you go.
With this 5-game plan, you get about one game every two weeks, which is just right for a lot of fans.
In order to reserve your 5-game pack, fill out the form below and we will contact you about your plan. You can also call us at (269) 492-9966. Seating location will be determined on a first come, first serve basis.
And do so soon. This is our best offer of the year and over 500 of the 750 plans have already been reserved.